Managing Managers’ Feelings

Business HandshakeIt’s probably happened to all of us at one time or another, when we have a manager that just doesn’t like us for some reason. Who knows why? You try your best to figure it out with coworkers and friends, and still you get a weird vibe. What’s this all about?

Well, managers are human too and so are personality clashes. That’s a very human trait and sometimes you don’t even know why you clash with someone. But underneath it all, there is a reason and you have to do some brainstorming to get to the bottom of it. But how?

After just writing about a jealous boss, maybe there’s a social case where it’s not jealousy but a genuine personality clash. Personality clashes can be as intricate as personalities themselves. You don’t have to have the same kind of personality to have a clash. You could be two polar opposites whereby you’re not liked for you’re A-type, bombastic personality, while your manager is B-type, quiet and reserved.

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Is Your Boss Jealous?

worlds_greatest_mean_boss_lady

I’m sure there are plenty of us out there who would just love to walk off their jobs due to having a bad manager, and throw something on the way out. Why is that?

When you first started your job, everything was just peachy, and your new boss didn’t show any signs of maleficence. They call this the honeymoon phase. Then little by little the evil leaked out. Your ideas are no good anymore for some reason, you’re overlooked to attend critical meetings, and in general, your boss is treating you as though you have the plague.

You say you’re a rock star when it comes to your job, and always go above and beyond the call of duty, fully engaged in your work and interested in the company business. You’ve already received 2 glowing annual reviews. You’re well-liked by your peers and little birds land on your shoulders in the morning to help you dress. You’re immaculate about your hygiene, and your attire is always fashion plate worthy. When you smile, your bleached white teeth twinkle. So what’s the beef with your boss?

Aside from not be doing your job correctly, is she* jealous of you? Is she afraid you’ll steal her position? Did you say something hurtful without realizing? There could be a lot of reasons why the boss has suddenly turned mean. If you start going home with this on your mind, and begin to worry, it’s high time to ask her what’s wrong.

Schedule a chat time between the two of you to discuss it. If you’re dealing with someone who is truly vindictive, insecure, and lacks leadership skills, you probably are dealing with a jealous boss. If it’s your work that’s the problem, in my view, this boss would be the type who couldn’t wait to tell you where you’re making mistakes. On the other hand, could it be that she is not telling you what your failings are in order to let you fall? Who knows?

One thing’s for sure, you will never know until you hash it out. Trust your perceptions about this boss as to what kind of personality she possesses, and if you feel that a one on one meeting will end up with your words twisted or misinterpreted, then you had better have a third party present, such as an HR rep, another manager, or coworker whom you can trust.

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Non-Bosses Bossing

Is this happening to you?

bossingJust like the clown post I wrote the other day, it seems like there’s one of these in every crowd too. There are some folks out there who consider themselves a manager though they do not possess the proper title in order to actually manage anyone. Some lines you just don’t cross.

It is one thing when a coworker asks for your help with something, but another if he or she demands it as an order, thus assuming your manager’s role. You should only report to one person, and that’s your immediate manager/supervisor. He or she should know what your work load is and whether or not you can be “lent” out to help someone else.

Some advocates advise assuming a role as a manager in order to actually obtain the position. This hardly means that you start supervising others on your own. You should only assume certain tasks that your current manager approves.

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What to Do When You Can’t Go To Human Resources for Help

fire_breathing_dragon_by_sandara-d56vmyuSo, you say that your micro-managing boss is a fire-breathing dragon and on your back all day long? You feel like you’re being bullied and you’re this close to telling him or her off and quitting on the spot. But you’re not 16 anymore running back home to your folks announcing you just quit and will find another job next week. You’re much older now with a family to support, mortgage, kids in college, and bills up the ying-yang. Who loses when you walk off the job? Oh, sure, employers suffer having to rehire and spending a couple grand, but they will recuperate. You may not unless you are ultra-savvy in the job market and can snap up jobs quicker than Donald Trump can slip on another gold ring. The majority of us will suffer the consequences of such an irrational move as tempting as it is at the time.

So, walking off the job with a few choice adjectives mumbled under your breath is out of the question. Let’s go to human resources to air grievances! This is the logical and rational approach to getting issues resolved in a calm and democratic way. After all, isn’t that what the rule book advises? Most company handbooks will say similar things such as the following:

Right to Speak:

Every employee has the right and ability to raise issues of concern about the company or about the treatment of an employee confidentially, free from any fear of reprisal.

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I Didn’t Know I Didn’t Like You!

workplace-bullyingI am tired of admitting it, but yes, I’m sensitive. After thinking about it some more, I think I’m pretty normal though. I’m kinesthetic and that’s a good thing in my opinion. Sometimes, I’m surprised I let slide by a lot of what people say and do. However, sometimes I reach a plateau and say, “Hey, I’m not taking that ___ anymore.” So what’s going on?

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